When The World Tells You No…

When it comes to life I’ve heard “No” (in plenty of different forms), plenty!  Especially when it came to my marriage! 

When Henry and I met I was only 18. I had just moved to Iowa, and felt like I was invincible. We dated for a very short amount of time before he asked me to be his wife! Four months to be exact, and our engagement wasn’t much longer. 

We were both young and pretty sure we knew everything! 

I scrimped together what little money I had an moved to Kalona, to live on my own for the very first time. I got a job at the restaurant beneath my apartment that barely paid the bills. I slept on an old couch of Henry’s because I didn’t own any furniture.  And in my one bedroom windowless apartment I began to plan a wedding to the man of my dreams!

We picked a date, we chose wedding colors, we hired our photographer, we picked bridesmaids and groomsmen, we had food covered, we were well on our way! When it came time to pick the person who would marry us, I felt we got one no after another. 

One wouldn’t marry us because he was sure we were living together. (Not that it matters, but we weren’t.) 

Many others were convinced we were doomed before we started. 

Finally we found someone who would marry us! But not without voicing their concerns, fears, and opinions. Some of which had to do with them also thinking that maybe the two of us getting married wasn’t a good idea. 

We had family refuse to come to our wedding because we couldn’t possibly last. We wouldn’t make it a year. They wouldn’t support me nor the man that was becoming my husband.

We have been compared to our parents on multiple occasions. My mom had children by different men, my dad has been married more than once. Henry’s parents don’t have a perfect relationship either. We’ve heard the sins of the father sermons on more than one occasion. 

We have three beautiful children together, and help each other care for my handicap brother now. We’ve built a life together. We’ve experienced life together! We’ve helped each other through grief, and sorrow, through sickness. He’s held my hand and helped me through labor! I’ve held him as he’s cried! I’ve encouraged him, and he’s supported me! 

Life hasn’t been perfect! The world has tried to reach its cold hands of distruction into our marriage and has tried to tear us apart! We haven’t always gotten along, we’ve had stupid fights about spoons! We’ve always chosen to love one another even when we “didn’t feel like it”! We’ve pushed back every time Satan has tried to pull! 

We decided that our parents sins didn’t have to be ours! We may be strongly pulled in that direction but we have the choice to fight back and say no! We went into this marriage without divorce being an option, and even today it’s still something that will never be on our table! Not divorce, not separation, not time away for a while. We’re in it for the long haul, Henry’s stuck with me and I with him! 

Today and everyday will will continue to fight for our relationship! The cold harsh fingertips of the world will continue to be met with the fire of a burning love, Satan will be met with a God led marriage! 

In a little over a month, Henry and I will celebrate our 7th anniversary! And let me tell you, unless God calls one of us home it won’t be the last one we celebrate! 

So lovelies when the world tells you No, and comes to pull your marriage apart, push back!! Fight for it! Choose love! Put God first and let him lead! 


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