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Parentless Parent…

I’m gonna get real with y’all!

My heart is hurting, and I often feel like there’s no one else here that understands me. I smile and carry on acting like what I think is normal. 

Most days I’m truly okay. While  other days I’ve  fought to even get out of bed in the morning. (Tho I always get out of bed, cause those littles need me.) 

I often feel lost or out of place, or like I’m drowning in emotion and someone’s decided to hand me a baby!  

I didn’t know how hard parenting would be. I never realized how much I’d miss and want and need my own momma and daddy once I had kids.  

I’ve cried more times than I can count in the shower wondering if I’m just doing a good enough job, if I’m doing enough, or if I’m just screwing up my children. 

 I’ve wondered if what my children are going through is normal or if I did those same things! It’s really hard not to have people who knew you to ask those questions. It’s hard y’all, and if you there going through it I wish I could give you a big hug. 

June and July are often so bittersweet for me! I get to help my best friend celebrate her oldest birthday in June. She shares a birthday with my momma! But momma birthday reminds me she’s not here. 

July is my anniversary month, but also the anniversary of both my parents deaths. And while they died many years ago now, those days are sometimes painful reminders that they are here anymore. 

Grief is funny that way, you can be okay and think you’ve moved passed it, then a song, a scent, a date on the calendar sparks a memory, and leaves you missing them! 

For all those parentless parents out there remember this! 

You are never truly alone! God is always with you! 

You are more than enough for your family! 

You are stronger and braver than you know! 

There will always be people who love you! 

You’ve got this!! 

Sadness is okay! It’s okay to hurt! It’s okay to cry! Just don’t live there! 

I love y’all! 

Xoxo Drena! 

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