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Motherhood to Me!

Being a mother has probably been one of the most challenging aspects of my life. I cant count the amount of times I have cried in the shower wondering if God some how made a mistake when he gave me not one but three little kids. I cant sit here and say that this whole mom things comes easy to me, ’cause I’d be lying. I have often felt like I’m barely keeping myself from drowning in life and some one has handed me a baby! I have felt lost! Sometimes I feel like I’m just barely figuring out this whole “Mom” thing, hopefully not at the expense of my children. But when I get the rare chance to observe them without their knowledge, I know that on some level, I am doing okay!

With all that being said, to me, motherhood is SCARY, it is intense, it is crazy, and it is extremely BEAUTIFUL! Some days its a piece of cake and I feel like I am on top of the world! Other times its trading sleep for midnight cuddles. It is making the hard decisions on when to discipline and when to just let it go. It’s knowing that at least on some level the decisions you make today affect them tomorrow. It’s pure unconditional love from day one. Its giving forgiveness and it is also asking for it! It’s no privacy in the bathroom, and never having anything to yourself anymore.

Its 10 million selfies on your phone that don’t belong to you! It’s blogging with one child at your feet, one on your lap and the other begging to sit beside you. It’s learning that you aren’t always right, and learning there’s not one way to parent. Motherhood is a rollercoaster. It’s putting yourself on the back burner cause you have 45 minutes till you have to leave and these babies need breakfast, and they all need help getting dressed! It’s finding balance between raising your child to be independent and being humble enough to ask for help.

Motherhood is not a one size fits all garment! We all have our own ways to parent! Motherhood is full of hard things, but its also full of sticky grins and wet kisses. Its silly drawings cause they’re little but they still want to give their momma a Mother’s day present! It’s “momma hold me” moments, and little babies who don’t care if your hair is brushed or if you showered yet this week! It’s answering the hard questions, and seeing the world from a long gone perspective! It’s funny stories to share later, and lots of laughs. It’s watching someone (or lots of someones) learn and experience new things, watching them grow and change literally before your eyes! It’s knowing that those manners they use so well came from you! You taught them that momma! It’s growing eyes behind your head, and knowing most of the time what is going to come next, even before they do!

It’s “mom, I only eat my boogers ’cause they taste like BANANAS” moments. It’s screams from the bathroom “why did dad poop in my panties” when they didn’t wipe all the way, laughs! Its running around the house in blanket capes cause they truly think you are SUPER MOM.

It’s raising your arrows and knowing when you let them loose they  aren’t just going to fly, they are going to soar!! Motherhood is often synonymous with LOVE, and full of GRACE. Grace from God, grace from our children and to them, and Grace from yourself!

You are a great Momma, and you’re doing a wonderful job! Be a little more patient with yourself and show a little more Grace to YOU! Know God chose you to be those babies Momma, for a reason! You were made for them and them for you! Enjoy the crazy ride, don’t forget to stop and appreciate the roses along the way! For they are still little now, but tomorrow they’ll be one more day older, and what motherhood means to you will certainly change. Absorb it, Momma, take it all in, and when it gets to be too much know its okay to take a little me time! Because you can’t pour from an empty cup!

Happy Mother’s Day y’all!

XOXO

Drena

 

 

Oh man, so I don’t know about you but I’m one who around Mother’s Day being a mom is least on my mind.  Dreams of the amazing gifts my family will give me, or should I say my husband.  And the relaxing quiet day it will be.  I’m a stay at home/working mom.  I own my own business, pay all our bills, clean everything, plan everything. So, I naturally expect that I should get at least 1 of the 365 days to myself.  NOPE, NOT THIS MOM!!  My husband works this year.  He didn’t get me anything.  He’ll probably not even say anything.  I’ll cry because I see all the awesome mom’s who get nice things from their families and dream it was me.  I’ll probably clean my living room or put clothes away. This is going to be my Mother’s Day.  But it shouldn’t even be about Mother’s Day.  Why do we feel we need to be valued or told we’re great moms on Mother’s day?

Guess what?!  I get told every day!! Every morning my son wakes up beside me 90% of the time, gives me a kiss and hug, Says “good morning mommy” in his sweet voice and then says “give me milk” and if I dont give it to him now he says it until i’m out of bed getting it for him. Yes, that didn’t end so well but to me motherhood is crazy hard.  If we dont look at the big picture and see all the happy things we will just be bitter old ladies one day.  Every day when I pick my daughter up she always runs to me with open arms.  My kids say thank you after I help them with something, most of the time.   Friday my daughter brought me a present she made, home from school.  I opened it. It was a quart sized mason jar she had painted and drew hearts on.  The excitement in her eyes said everything!!   

I think, we, as mother’s really struggle with this fear of disappointment…in ourselves.  Like if we don’t get the “I love you, hunny. You are so amazing!” from our hubby’s, we did something wrong.  Or our house isn’t clean enough or we didn’t make the nicest dinners.  Our friend’s do cooler things than us.  They write nicer blog posts. or even just seem to have this life thing put together.  Guess what.  We’re wrong!  We need only to please God.  And by doing that, we need to be preparing for His kingdom.  I know us mom’s maybe need to read the Philippians 4:13 verse every day before we get out of bed or even have coffee (yes, I just said that!)  “We can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” Seriously!!  So when we’re in Costco and our 4 year old is yelling about all the food she wants and you’re 2 year old is screaming on the floor and the baby needs fed.  God will give you strength!!  or you have 500 things to do before you host mother’s day dinner, you’re husband is working late and you have no one to help you out.  GOD WILL GIVE YOU STRENGTH!!

I found this quote the other day.  “Motherhood is not a competition to see who has the smartest kids, the cleanest house, the healthiest dinners, the nicest clothes…Motherhood is YOUR journey and YOUR children.”   The first two years in MOPS were huge for me.  I finally realized the mom I was, was OKAY!!  My house is rarely 100% clean, unless my mom helps.  Yes, I have 2 planners and I still forget  appointments and plans I make.  I’m pretty sure all my kids eat is candy and sandwiches.  (a little exaggeration). and my kids LOVE hand-me-downs!! They think it’s so cool because their friend wore this too!!  Mommying is HARD!!!  Stop beating yourself up! You’re doing an AMAZING JOB!

Motherhood…

Motherhood is AMAZING.  When you set aside the stereotypes and the comparisons and just embrace your children, nothing matters anymore.  Yes, we’re all going to have our ups and downs.  But you can’t have your mountain tops without your valleys!!  

We are to be that example for our children.  Prepare them for what’s ahead.  Teach them.  Our kids don’t know from right and wrong.  God placed them in our hands to be their teachers. Our dishes will always be there, our clothes will eventually get folded.  No, this doesn’t mean your house has to be a disaster all the time.  So teach them how to fold or do the dishes. This is that quality time your kids will always remember.  Our kids will grow fast!! So don’t waist your time on your phone, or on the computer, or watching TV.

Celie is almost 5 now and I see she’s already becoming more independent and can see in another 5 years she won’t want to sit with her mom and read books anymore or cuddle on the couch.  Take time!!  Give them responsibilities.  Prepare them!

This Mother’s Day, yes, will not be as I hoped but I know my kids are happy.  I feel that appreciation when my kids always want me over my husband.  Or they always ask me for things.  They run up to me for hugs and kisses.  They cry for mom.  It’s the little things we take for granted.  

So you mom’s that don’t get the relaxing weekend or the flowers. You’re not alone.  But remember you’re kids will always love you.  You will always be their mom.  Your teenager may hate you but give them a few year’s and they won’t.  Time goes quick so cherish your children and take time. 

So this may not have expressed how I feel about being a mom and I’ll be honest I’m not really sure.  We’ve had a lot of changes since January and I struggle with change.  Being a mom is AMAZING it is also CRAZY HARD. But really Drena made a beautiful post on this.  Motherhood is BEAUTIFUL!!!  Even though crying yourself to sleep at night, yelling at your kids to quit eating your boogers for the 15th time today, separating them because they can’t seem to leave each other alone.  God really has a plan for all of this!  HIS PLAN IS BEAUTIFUL,

Happy Mother’s DAY,  

XoXoX…

Asenath

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